WARNING: This post is kind of a downer. And contains lots of feelings (mine) so if you don't care for some sappy shit, don't read it. You have been warned.
Friday, September 23, 2011
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
hump day, but not the fun kind
It's 9:15pm and I probably will have to go to sleep in an hour. I just got home from work 1.5 hrs ago. I hate this. I hate having so little time to take care of things, to relax, to watch some shows, to do some paper works because I spent the of my free time in traffic. Every. Fucking. Day.
How do people do it? Same thing, same drive everyday. It's been only about 3 going to 4 months for me and I seriously am going nuts. A couple more days and I will have a different route and hopefully it will be less shitty than this one.
I really don't see myself doing this 9-5 (or 6) routine again anytime soon in the future. 4 more months. Ohmygod it's four more months? Again, how do people do this for years? Decades? Their entire lives? If this is what the real world is, it sucks. If this is 'living' I'd rather be in a coma. Why not? I already feel like a zombie from this mind numbing routines that people seem to be so comfortable with. If this is 'growing up', how do I stop?
I don't remember what fun feels like.
How do people do it? Same thing, same drive everyday. It's been only about 3 going to 4 months for me and I seriously am going nuts. A couple more days and I will have a different route and hopefully it will be less shitty than this one.
I really don't see myself doing this 9-5 (or 6) routine again anytime soon in the future. 4 more months. Ohmygod it's four more months? Again, how do people do this for years? Decades? Their entire lives? If this is what the real world is, it sucks. If this is 'living' I'd rather be in a coma. Why not? I already feel like a zombie from this mind numbing routines that people seem to be so comfortable with. If this is 'growing up', how do I stop?
I don't remember what fun feels like.
Sunday, September 18, 2011
you don't have to read this if you're a boy/man
I took a break from all the paper work and started my packing list. So many things to buy/prepare for. In a way, this trip is different than a traveling trip because I will be settling down somewhere for 2 years, so beside just packing travel size bottle of shampoo and conditioners, I need to have a list of other survival tools.
Long story short, I ended up researching about menstrual cups.
a. The internet really messes up my attention span.
b. Hate it or love it, bleeding out from your vagina every three weeks is a normal thing for a woman. Actually, no one wants it. When we have it, we don't want it. When we don't have it, we worry. It is as normal for us as men with their morning woods. If it happens take care of it. End of story.
So naturally, in planning for PC, I also have to plan for my period in PC. I have read that the Peace Corps does provide some amount of pads/tampons for volunteers, and depend on the country, you can buy them locally. When I was in Vietnam, it was not at all a big deal to find pads. Just hit up a store and you're offered all kind of options and choices. However, the same thing might not be available in Ghana. Especially if I am going to be living in a remote village. I doubt there is going to be a supermarket with options and variety.
So yeah, menstrual cup. Reusable and less carbon footprint. Who knew there are so many variety???? I have only heard of DivaCup, but after browsing around, there are apparently a lot. It's like discovering a new underground genre of something. I was blown away. There is even a website with someone rating each individually and making comparison between them. Pads seems so neanderthal now... and harmful to the environment with all that trash at the end of the day. Sorry mother earth, I'll try to bleed better from now on.
Long story short, I ended up researching about menstrual cups.
a. The internet really messes up my attention span.
b. Hate it or love it, bleeding out from your vagina every three weeks is a normal thing for a woman. Actually, no one wants it. When we have it, we don't want it. When we don't have it, we worry. It is as normal for us as men with their morning woods. If it happens take care of it. End of story.
So naturally, in planning for PC, I also have to plan for my period in PC. I have read that the Peace Corps does provide some amount of pads/tampons for volunteers, and depend on the country, you can buy them locally. When I was in Vietnam, it was not at all a big deal to find pads. Just hit up a store and you're offered all kind of options and choices. However, the same thing might not be available in Ghana. Especially if I am going to be living in a remote village. I doubt there is going to be a supermarket with options and variety.
So yeah, menstrual cup. Reusable and less carbon footprint. Who knew there are so many variety???? I have only heard of DivaCup, but after browsing around, there are apparently a lot. It's like discovering a new underground genre of something. I was blown away. There is even a website with someone rating each individually and making comparison between them. Pads seems so neanderthal now... and harmful to the environment with all that trash at the end of the day. Sorry mother earth, I'll try to bleed better from now on.
Saturday, September 17, 2011
so. much. paper. works.
Congratulation and welcome to the Peace Corps. Here are 938479202932 more papers works for you to fill out, sign, get certify, mail in. Please take your time to complete them all, but make sure to do that in 10 days or less.
The meaningful like lesson here, kids, is that you have work hard to get where you are, but once you are there, you have to work hard to stay there. Otherwise you'll be kicked back to where you came from and second chances are rare.
Okay, I'm exasperating a bit here. After the initial "I got into the Peace Corps and going to Ghana" high, I'm facing an other mount of paper work. One more vaccination shot, one more passport application, one more essay to write, one more resume to edit, one (or a ton) more forms to sign, one more page to make copy to keep. And by one, I mean a lot. I have a headache, can ya blame me?
On the bright side. One more week until a real bed.
The meaningful like lesson here, kids, is that you have work hard to get where you are, but once you are there, you have to work hard to stay there. Otherwise you'll be kicked back to where you came from and second chances are rare.
Okay, I'm exasperating a bit here. After the initial "I got into the Peace Corps and going to Ghana" high, I'm facing an other mount of paper work. One more vaccination shot, one more passport application, one more essay to write, one more resume to edit, one (or a ton) more forms to sign, one more page to make copy to keep. And by one, I mean a lot. I have a headache, can ya blame me?
On the bright side. One more week until a real bed.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
It's here!
The Peace Corps Invitation Kit is here! (through UPS Ground btw)
After much further delay after work, and then running around doing errands, I finally get a moment with the package now, ready to open it. I kinda of nervous, so instead, I'm blogging...
... and as I predicted. It's GHANA!
Okay so I am not jumping for joy excited because I sort of predicted it, but YAY! I have been waiting for this day for almost a year now. It's finally here. I am high on life right now.
Ahh I lied. I am so freaking excited. The next four months are going to be ridiculous. My brain is having a party with all the serotonin and dopamine from all this happiness. This is what people must feel like on Christmas morning.
FEBRUARY 6th. I feel like I'm dreaming.
After much further delay after work, and then running around doing errands, I finally get a moment with the package now, ready to open it. I kinda of nervous, so instead, I'm blogging...
... and as I predicted. It's GHANA!
Okay so I am not jumping for joy excited because I sort of predicted it, but YAY! I have been waiting for this day for almost a year now. It's finally here. I am high on life right now.
Ahh I lied. I am so freaking excited. The next four months are going to be ridiculous. My brain is having a party with all the serotonin and dopamine from all this happiness. This is what people must feel like on Christmas morning.
FEBRUARY 6th. I feel like I'm dreaming.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
the internet is down and im typing on the kindle
because thats how addicted to the internet i am. and how much i want to vent. the bright side is, i prob will get to sleep early tonight.
plese pardon the terrible language format/spelling errors.
i dont remember the last time i was this anxious about something, not even when i applied for college. i know that UPS is delivering the package, and it usually takes about 5-7 days but they are often so prompt about it. and maybe PC is more legit and uses UPS Expres instad, and that should even be quicker... but either way it was a toal let down coming home today and not seeing that package waiting for me. man,i even skipped going to the Y to be home earlier (though i am not really sad about that.)
this is torture.
a friend of mine who spent the entire month of august fasting for Ramadan said that the last week/day was the hardest because you are so cloe to the finish you lose your patience. sure i didnt starve myself when the sun is out ever since november but by calculation i should have the envelope in my hands right now,and i am sad that it isnt. i.want. to. know.
tomorro or whenever i finally get the package i will probably read this post and laugh at how silly i sound right now, but untl then, this is so lameeeeeeee
plese pardon the terrible language format/spelling errors.
i dont remember the last time i was this anxious about something, not even when i applied for college. i know that UPS is delivering the package, and it usually takes about 5-7 days but they are often so prompt about it. and maybe PC is more legit and uses UPS Expres instad, and that should even be quicker... but either way it was a toal let down coming home today and not seeing that package waiting for me. man,i even skipped going to the Y to be home earlier (though i am not really sad about that.)
this is torture.
a friend of mine who spent the entire month of august fasting for Ramadan said that the last week/day was the hardest because you are so cloe to the finish you lose your patience. sure i didnt starve myself when the sun is out ever since november but by calculation i should have the envelope in my hands right now,and i am sad that it isnt. i.want. to. know.
tomorro or whenever i finally get the package i will probably read this post and laugh at how silly i sound right now, but untl then, this is so lameeeeeeee
Monday, September 12, 2011
i am so uncool.
It's MONDAY, and my invitation package isn't here yet. How disappointing. I was certainly sure that I would be here waiting for me the second I got back from SD, but it's not. PC should have provided me with a tracking number because this whole waiting and anticipating thing is not the business. And the user account is so useless. Just tell me where I am going! I need to know! Blue package, come to me!
Onto better news, I might have found a place to live! Closer to work and willing to accept me for four months and fully furnished with a bed, desk and TV and a single room almost as big as the room I had during my third year. I am just excited at the thought of a real bed. I hope they call me so I can move in and spend all my weekend sleeping on said bed.
February. Please come soon.
Onto better news, I might have found a place to live! Closer to work and willing to accept me for four months and fully furnished with a bed, desk and TV and a single room almost as big as the room I had during my third year. I am just excited at the thought of a real bed. I hope they call me so I can move in and spend all my weekend sleeping on said bed.
February. Please come soon.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
single female needs place to live
Holy shit, it's raining in the valley. In the middle of September, with thunder and everything. Another pleasant surprise. This week is getting out of control.
Of course compare to places like Seattle or Boston, this means less than nothing since sunshine is a rare concept there, but in this god forsaken 112 degree at 4 in the afternoon and sunshine all the fucking time valley, it's a pretty fucking chill thing for it to rain. Pun entirely intended.
Of course it only lasted for a good hour and now the sun is out again and the neighbor kids are all out and about and screaming their heads off. Fucking children. Shouldn't they be inside learning math or something? School started last week. Don't they have homework? Fucking kids. Go read a book, damn.
Thus is why I am seeking for a new place to live. Until I leave for PC that is. It's not that hard to leave my current place (my parent's couch) to find something that suits me better (a bed). After Vietnam, I only intended to stay at my parents for about 3 weeks. It's been more than 3 months now. It's definitely time. Especially since now I have an idea of when I will get out of here.
For various reasons, finding a roommate in college was so easy, and I always end up with amazing roommate (which the few exceptions of course). Which makes this entire process of combing craigslist for normal/sane/non-creepy people the more shitty. I just need a place to live. A room with four wall would be nice. A place to park my car, to put my plastic container of clothes and sleep at night. That's it. And maybe a fridge because I like cold water, then that's it. I have spent years sleeping on couches and cots, I am not picky. But noo, it's not that easy.
I hate LA. Everything is so fucking expensive, and so is the living. Furnished? Okay. Utilities included? Yes please. Almost 500 bucks to share a studio with you and your dog/cat/both? Hmm... You are a 45 years old male who prefers that I work in the modeling industry? What. the. fuck? Male seeking female roommate only to share a bed and save money? Are you fucking serious?
Where can normal people go to look for a place to live around here? The internet is such a scary place. What did people use to do before this?
Of course compare to places like Seattle or Boston, this means less than nothing since sunshine is a rare concept there, but in this god forsaken 112 degree at 4 in the afternoon and sunshine all the fucking time valley, it's a pretty fucking chill thing for it to rain. Pun entirely intended.
Of course it only lasted for a good hour and now the sun is out again and the neighbor kids are all out and about and screaming their heads off. Fucking children. Shouldn't they be inside learning math or something? School started last week. Don't they have homework? Fucking kids. Go read a book, damn.
Thus is why I am seeking for a new place to live. Until I leave for PC that is. It's not that hard to leave my current place (my parent's couch) to find something that suits me better (a bed). After Vietnam, I only intended to stay at my parents for about 3 weeks. It's been more than 3 months now. It's definitely time. Especially since now I have an idea of when I will get out of here.
For various reasons, finding a roommate in college was so easy, and I always end up with amazing roommate (which the few exceptions of course). Which makes this entire process of combing craigslist for normal/sane/non-creepy people the more shitty. I just need a place to live. A room with four wall would be nice. A place to park my car, to put my plastic container of clothes and sleep at night. That's it. And maybe a fridge because I like cold water, then that's it. I have spent years sleeping on couches and cots, I am not picky. But noo, it's not that easy.
I hate LA. Everything is so fucking expensive, and so is the living. Furnished? Okay. Utilities included? Yes please. Almost 500 bucks to share a studio with you and your dog/cat/both? Hmm... You are a 45 years old male who prefers that I work in the modeling industry? What. the. fuck? Male seeking female roommate only to share a bed and save money? Are you fucking serious?
Where can normal people go to look for a place to live around here? The internet is such a scary place. What did people use to do before this?
Friday, September 9, 2011
I can't wait to start packing. (Seriously, I love packing)
This news almost made up for the fact that this week was the worse traffic week ever. It took me an hour and a half to commute everyday this week, even on Friday, which usually would only takes about 30-45 mins. Then there is that black out in San Diego that might cancel my plans. Still such a great pleasant surprise though.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
what a pleasant surprise!
Yesterday, one of my former student whom I used to tutor math emailed me out of the blue. I hadn't spoke to him since March when I left for Vietnam. I just thought he had lost my email or didn't care to stay in touch, which is kind of a bummer because I really liked the kid. He was pretty mature for his age. Despite being a poster child for punk/rock emo kids who wear trench coats in the summer and can pull off the dark eyeliner look better than I could, he was sweet and funny, and we have spent quite some of his 'studying' time discussing Dragon Balls. (I might have started that conversation.)
When I first started working with him, he had an F in the class, like a 20 something percent, and after one semester with me, he went up 40 percents and ended with a D+. So he didn't pass the class, and I was pretty disappointed, but he motivated by saying that he didn't even think it was possible to get up there, so I shouldn't let it get to me. (Wasn't I suppose to do the motivating?)
Anywho, he emailed to tell me that thanks to my help, he got an A on the second semester and retook the first semester and ended with a B+, and that he missed our tutoring session because it was "fun and educational."
Well shit, that just made my day.
Occasionally I wonder what goods came out of my 6 months stint in San Diego except for the rock bottom feeling and endless Vietnamese sandwiches, and that short email was a nice reminder.
A pleasant surprise indeed. But that's not all!
When I first started working with him, he had an F in the class, like a 20 something percent, and after one semester with me, he went up 40 percents and ended with a D+. So he didn't pass the class, and I was pretty disappointed, but he motivated by saying that he didn't even think it was possible to get up there, so I shouldn't let it get to me. (Wasn't I suppose to do the motivating?)
Anywho, he emailed to tell me that thanks to my help, he got an A on the second semester and retook the first semester and ended with a B+, and that he missed our tutoring session because it was "fun and educational."
Well shit, that just made my day.
Occasionally I wonder what goods came out of my 6 months stint in San Diego except for the rock bottom feeling and endless Vietnamese sandwiches, and that short email was a nice reminder.
A pleasant surprise indeed. But that's not all!
Saturday, September 3, 2011
misery with no company
A lady at work was telling me that when her 26 years old daughter had to move back home from New York, the girl was so miserable that she and her husband literally offered to pay for her apartment so that she could live somewhere else and be less miserable.
I only wish that my family understand how miserable I am. I don't need their money. Just their understanding.
Well, next up is a very Peace Corps applicant thing to do, but I'm just going to do it anyway because I have spend so much time to work for these little check marks that I deserve to brag about them. Now all I need is an invitation (which apparently is a giant blue envelope with tons of papers). I can't wait.
I have been reading blogs about the previously mentioned country, and Madagascar looks amazing.
I only wish that my family understand how miserable I am. I don't need their money. Just their understanding.
Well, next up is a very Peace Corps applicant thing to do, but I'm just going to do it anyway because I have spend so much time to work for these little check marks that I deserve to brag about them. Now all I need is an invitation (which apparently is a giant blue envelope with tons of papers). I can't wait.
 |
| it means I'm good to go, bitches. |
Thursday, September 1, 2011
where in the world
I didn't go to work today. My boss is out and nothing much is going on in the office, and I haven't been feeling well so I called in sick. My legs feel funny and restless.
Anyway, after the conversation with the placement officer, and even thought I learned nothing, I still couldn't help but feeling so excited. So I did some investigation (i.e: looking around Peace Corps Wiki) and found out a few things.
a. If I am fortunate enough to leave in January, and to Africa, I will have the Gambia, South Africa or Zambia as my options.
b. If not January, Madagascar, Malawi, Senegal, and Morrocco are also viable Africa options
c. If it's French specific, then it will be between Madagascar, Senegal and Morrocco, and they all have late Feb or early March departure dates. Shit, I don't want to wait that long.
d. Jamaica is also an option, but it's not Africa or French speaking, and it's a March date.
e. I could leave as early as Jan 4th or as late as March 19th
It's a 50 percent chance that I will be in Africa with my program and 1 percent chance of Asia. lol. I guess Asians people don't like talking about AIDS (it's true, they don't). Seven possible options. Though I would love to use my 7 years knowledge of French, shit, I will take any place, and even bring my own mosquito net.
Anyway, after the conversation with the placement officer, and even thought I learned nothing, I still couldn't help but feeling so excited. So I did some investigation (i.e: looking around Peace Corps Wiki) and found out a few things.
a. If I am fortunate enough to leave in January, and to Africa, I will have the Gambia, South Africa or Zambia as my options.
b. If not January, Madagascar, Malawi, Senegal, and Morrocco are also viable Africa options
c. If it's French specific, then it will be between Madagascar, Senegal and Morrocco, and they all have late Feb or early March departure dates. Shit, I don't want to wait that long.
d. Jamaica is also an option, but it's not Africa or French speaking, and it's a March date.
e. I could leave as early as Jan 4th or as late as March 19th
It's a 50 percent chance that I will be in Africa with my program and 1 percent chance of Asia. lol. I guess Asians people don't like talking about AIDS (it's true, they don't). Seven possible options. Though I would love to use my 7 years knowledge of French, shit, I will take any place, and even bring my own mosquito net.
qualified
My phone call with the placement officer just ended. Long story short, I am qualified to served, but that is all she could tell me. I will have to wait 2-3 more weeks for someone else to call and tell me when and where I could go. I'm looking at sometime between Jan-March 2012. By then, it would be more than a year since I applied for the Peace Corps, but who's counting..
I was looking forward to know about a location from today's conversation but it didn't happen. I am a little bit disappointed. A whole one hour of conversation and I didn't learn anything much, but it's alright, I guess. A few more weeks. Is this what it feels like to be string along by hope?
Anyway, it's still good news though, it means that I AM going to the Peace Corps, and that I will soon enough get the heck out of here to sleep on a cot somewhere else.
Too bad I have to deal with another holiday season before I leave.
I was looking forward to know about a location from today's conversation but it didn't happen. I am a little bit disappointed. A whole one hour of conversation and I didn't learn anything much, but it's alright, I guess. A few more weeks. Is this what it feels like to be string along by hope?
Anyway, it's still good news though, it means that I AM going to the Peace Corps, and that I will soon enough get the heck out of here to sleep on a cot somewhere else.
Too bad I have to deal with another holiday season before I leave.
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