all these red tapes

I am applying for the Peace Corps. It's a tedious process with a lot of paper works and I have been on it for as long as I have been out of school. My decision for joining the PC was not over night, but once I decided I was/am really excited about it. So far, PC is the biggest decision I have made yet. I feel that everything I have done up until now, living in England for 2 months, wandering Brazil and even my up coming trip to Vietnam have been preparation for this commitment, 27 months in a place that is much newer and stranger than everywhere I have been. I don't want to feel anything but excitement about this decision.

Up until now, everything was going well. I had a good interview. Good placement nomination. Good recruiter. And now I'm in the second to last step, working on my medical and dental history, and I don't know what or why, but I'm starting to feel really frustrated, and scared.

Frustrated because I just want to get this annoying process over with. I have to get a physical exam, and throrough dental exam, and eye exam, PAP smear with all blood work and labs and whatever the fuck to go with it. I don't have insurance because I've been out of school, and looking for an affordable doctor/health clinic to get my stuff done is a whole lot of frustration.

Everything is so expensive, and did I mention that I DON'T HAVE INSURANCE? Before I was out of school, I took advantage of the UCSD student health program and got everything under the hood checked, from head to toes, and now I have to do the same thing again... except for some exams, there is a 6 months limit so most of my exams from the summer isn't valid anymore and I have to redo. PC is going to reimburse me for some of it, but it's really minimal what they are going to give me. I'm willing to pay for all of this, but fact is, I just don't wan to do it.

Scared because I feel that the longer this is dragging out, the less excited I would feel about PC, and I might even get cold feet and back out. I don't want to back out, and I don't want to regret not going, but I am impatient, and I'm afraid that my impatience will lessen the significant of the experience for me. I don't want to have second thoughts, but the more time I have waiting around, the more the inevitable may happen.

And since I just got that job, though crappy, I'm still relieved because I am making some sort of income, and I'm afraid that I'll get too comfortable and forget about PC. I am also scared that it's taking me a long time to get the paper works in and I may lose my spot in the program, and all is gone to naught and it will be too late for me to look for something else.